I had dinner with my parents tonight.  Yeah, I’m lucky. Not only do I still have both my parents, they like me enough to have me for dinner. Anyway, as I started to inhale some awesome tilapia, potatoes and green beans, I had to stop and quickly take a sip of my drink. That fish was hot…as in temperature hot. I suddenly realized I had never had a cold or even just warm meal at my parents house. I tried to think of anywhere I’d eaten that I could say every meal I’ve ever had, has always been hot. (excluding meals served cold, obviously) Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had wonderful, hot, and delicious meals at friends and family (frequently). It’s just that tonight, eating that meal, made me realize the parents meals are always unbelievably hot. Mom’s secret? I know she heats the plates in the oven before serving, but other than that she’s not tellin’.

Flowers in February

February 28, 2012

This time last year there was snow on the ground and all was right with the world (my world anyway) Today it was in the mid 60’s. It’s February. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to ride in February. But I love the winter. I love snow. And I love not sweating my ass off walking from my door to my vehicle.  Too soon the mosquitoes will be here and it will be hot enough to fry an egg…Grass will need to be cut and bushes trimmed. And with hardly a spring to speak of, we’ll jump right into another ridiculously humid DC Summer. I suffer through the heat of the summer. I just want that suffering to not be in vain. Give me winter. You can keep the flowers.




February 27, 2012

“Everyday show your family how much you love them with your words, with your touch, and with your thoughtfulness.”

-Life’s Little Instruction Book

Just on the cusp of the food court at the mall you can find the entrance to sugar high heaven, better known as Candy World. Just like Disney world is better than Disney Land, I have to assume Candy World is better than Candy Land. I had seen small candy stores before, but this was…monumental. A whole world all about candy. I was overwhelmed. My eyes didn’t know where to look first. All the candy I’ve ever enjoyed throughout my life and then some. Was this…nirvana? (Screaming kid screams behind me) Nope. Not nirvana. But Amazing none the less. When I was a kid (flashback to me as a kid) My Grandmother used to take me and my brother to the mall. There was a tiny candy shop where she used to buy us these soft sugary slices of candy.

What a great memory.


Guess what I found at Candy World?


Damn you Betty Crocker

February 25, 2012

The spoon fell into my mouth. I couldn’t help myself. The devil made me do it? Well, none of that is true. I chose to buy and eat the frosting. But,  I did spread it out over a few days. Is that bad?

Yum...ah..I mean Bad frosting...very Bad.

Turns out flat food sucks

February 24, 2012

“Man, that looks great!” “Look at all that chicken and cheese!”  Those were my thoughts after seeing this poster at Taco Bell.

So I went in and saw this above the counter

Looks fantastic! And Big! I ordered 2 to go.

I got home and…


great anticipation…

opened the sandwich…

This is what I got.





Ah…yeah. To say I was pissed off is an understatement. I truly felt like I got ripped off. To be honest, I know how it works. Pictures of juicy burgers piled high with green lettuce and red tomatoes sell burgers. Pictures of perfectly portioned and proportioned pizzas and so on…but this was just ridiculous. It’s not even close to the advertised picture. I don’t care if its sloppy, but damn! A tablespoon of chicken and cheese and ranch? Seriously? Fail.

I can hear some of you saying “What do you expect for 99¢?” Have you ever had a 99¢ burrito? They are loaded! This thing wasn’t worth 25¢.

By the time I got back to Taco Bell to complain months had gone by, the item was off the menu, and…well…I didn’t have the heart to lay into someone who really couldn’t understand me anyway. So I just ordered a beef burrito instead. It was good, looked as it should, and I was happy.





Lazy Future Zombie

February 23, 2012

I understand that some people have trouble parallel parking. I understand people who have large SUV/trucks having trouble getting into small spaces. But this lazy SOB drives a Honda! I assume it’s laziness, because no one is that stupid. My first thought was “What an arrogant thing to do” but I’m constantly reminded how lazy, stupid, and selfish most of the sheep are in this area. (Sigh) Days like this I long for the Zombie Apocalypse. Most of the sheep will be Zombies or Zombie food and everyone knows Zombies can’t drive.

To clarify, had I not pulled out before this dipshit, she most certainly would have dented up my car…just like a Zombie.

. . .

Meatloaf? I don’t think so.

February 22, 2012

What can I say? It looked good on the box. Sadly, and most would say not unexpectedly, it was not good. I couldn’t even finish it.


February 22, 2012

I’ve been asked what the picture is on my header. It’s a snowflake. One of my nieces saw it on her glove and asked me to photograph it.


Horny Goat Weed

February 21, 2012

I don’t even know what to say. Found this in the vitamins and supplements aisle.