I am not a Millionaire

March 31, 2012

I did not win the world record breaking $640 million Mega Millions jackpot. My odd’s were 1 in 176 million against it, but it’s always nice to dream. I would love to get the chance to test the idiom “Money can’t buy happiness”. I’m willing to bet I could buy a whole lot of happiness with that kind of money. First I’d buy some land. A ranch maybe. Then I’d put together a group dedicated to the rescue and care of animals. Of course I’d do the other things that everyone else says too. I’d buy my parents a house. I’d pay off my bills, and my family’s bills. I’d buy a truck. I’d  get a couple rescue dogs and cats. I’d go to all the bike rallies I haven’t yet been to. I’d start crossing off items on my bucket list, and start adding more. I’d give more, travel more, play more, sleep better, and live more. Would I be happier?

Damn right I would be.

I’ve heard you can’t win If you don’t play. Of course, even if you play, you can’t win unless you’re very, very lucky.

 Mega Nuthin'

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Thrown or Blown

March 29, 2012

I don’t care which, thrown or blown. Your bad habits have affected my life. Your casual attitude and belief that what you do makes no difference makes me sick. You say stupid things like “ Who cares” and “It’s my world” as if that some how excuses your deplorable behavior. I want to say I don’t blame you, that it’s your upbringing or your culture. But at some point, despite your parents shortcomings or where you came from, you should (we hope) grow up and realize that what you are doing is wrong. I despise your indifference to my outrage. If I could, I’d make you live for a year in your own filth in a land fill. I’m tired of picking up your trash. Every day of the week I find your garbage in my yard. Thrown or blown, the trash in my yard came first from your guilty little hand you piece of crap.

Trash

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Ted

March 28, 2012

When I was growing up I had a friend named Ted who lived next door.  I can see him now, a little chubby, kinda like “Chunk” from Goonies, but he had a short military style hair cut. Ted was fun to play with but he didn’t live next to us for very long, his Dad was a minister and evidently, they moved a lot. Anyway, what I remember most was how Ted’s mom used to call Ted in when we were all playing out side. She’d stand on the porch and yell out slowly “Ted…time to go to bed!” Now you have to imagine the most West Virginia or North Carolina country person you know, and then in their voice, in your mind, say it again. “Ted…time to go to bed!”

I’m sure we teased him mercilessly but I believe if Ted knew the truth he’d be having the last laugh. The truth is, I think of Ted often because when my dad wanted us to remember which way to turn the hose off he’d say turn it toward’s Ted’s house. I’ve never forgotten that. No matter where I am, no matter whose spigot I turn on, when I turn it off I think of Ted, and I smile and think “Ted…time to go to bed!”

Right Said Ted

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Memories of good Sax

March 27, 2012

I went out front to take pictures of my Dogwood tree blooming. It was a beautiful, cloudless day. The sun was low but not yet going down. As I started taking close-ups of the flowering petals, a sound drifted to me on the slight breeze…sounds…like…Jingle Bells?

Somewhere, close by in the neighborhood, a young music student was practicing his or her Saxophone outside.

What memories that sound recalled. As a kid, I had long arms and the music teacher suggested I play the trombone. I did, but I was always a bit envious of my brother who chose the clarinet, which led him to the saxophone. I remember going out into my front yard and blasting that silly horn. Playing the theme from M.A.S.H., and yes, probably Jingle Bells. The memory makes me smile. I should call my brother. Tell him I’m thinking of him. I hope he doesn’t mind I’m using his picture.

Sax Player '78

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Today is my Dad’s Birthday. I want to honor him and thank him. He is a great man who has taught me so much. I am very lucky to still have him in my life.

Happy Birthday Pop!
Thanks for teaching me to love nature and animals. Thanks for showing me how to treat other people with respect and to demand it, if earned, in return. It’s because of you that I stand up for the little guy, never start but always finish a fight, and never used my size to bully. It’s because of you I can fix things, make things, and figure out how it all goes together. You taught me to be a man, to take responsibility for my actions, how to drive, how to throw a ball, and so many other things. You’ve given me a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Thank you!

Love Your Son

First Fish

Dad, Me, and my little Brother

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I posted last year about my trips to Canton PA. This past New Years we had three awesome dogs with us. My friend Stacey was able to get all three to sit still long enough for me to capture the moment. Not an easy feat, Bee Bee and Bennie never sit still and Sookie was just a few months old. Still, Stacey did it, and here’s the proof. Love those dogs.

Bennie, Sookie, & Bee Bee

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Local Goth Girls

March 24, 2012

The add says “Meet Local Goths”. It’s in the right hand “Sponsored” add column on my Facebook page. My first thought was “Huh…people still dress..er…live that way?”  I’m a Man. Red blooded, meat eatin’, hard workin’, and all that.  I’ll “meet” any and all of the female persuasion.

Goth Girl

I'd "Meet" her.

My second thought was “Why would the ad target me?” You see, for years I’ve been teased with ads featuring large breasted women, seductive looking barely legal girls, the possible Ménage à trois, hook ups with biker chicks, chicks who want bikers, hot young single moms, 30 somethings, 40 somethings, cougars, M.I.L.F.s, girls who want big guys, and recently, Christian girls. Lord help me.

I think Vampires are sexy and secretly, I think it would be cool to be one. But I don’t dress like one, wear fangs, drink blood (or even red wine), or sleep in a box. I realize the goth thing is different. But let’s be honest, from the outside looking in, it’s really similar. I don’t want you to think I’m judging, I’m not. What makes this country great is it’s diversity. You should know though, whenever I see (and I haven’t for a seriously long time) a little goth girl I always wonder “Aw baby, who hurt you?”

FB ads Women

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My Dad (chapter 1)

March 23, 2012

First, you need to know, my dad is cool, and he was always cool. He was the original MacGyver, long before Mac was Mac. He once took a tongue depressor, a rubber-band, and some plastic from a bacon package and made my brother and I little sail boats when we were camping. One day I’ll blog about all the things he’s created to fix, repair or just make something better. It’s not enough to say he was a handy man. He was so much better than your average handyman. Still is at 77.

We grew up at the top corner of a cul de sac (court) which meant that while our front yard was small our back yard was pretty large for the neighborhood. Our yard was the ultimate hide and seek, army, and all around playground that the neighborhood kids would come to. Especially after my dad installed a drinking fountain! We had a sand box (dad built). We had swings and a slide. We had a fire pole 20 ft up into a tree. We had a Play house(a tree house on the ground) Again, Dad Built! But to this day, I’ve never met anyone who had a drinking fountain in their back yard. I love you Pop! I can’t ever thank you enough for an amazing and loving childhood. Thank You!

Dad buildin' stuff

drinkin fountain

I was thinking out loud in my head as I drove home tonight that life is fiction. It could be what ever you want it to be. But of course, that’s not exactly true. I mean, you may want to be a Shuttle astronaut, well that’s not gonna happen…unless you got in before they cancelled the program. You might aspire to be the Queen of England. Not. They’ve got one already. I guess my point is you can be almost anything you want (with in the bounds of physics).

 The future is unwritten. Go write yours.

Little Pirates

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You Paid What?

March 21, 2012

10 ft of kitchen counter – $15.00

2×4’s – $0.00

Screws, glue, and stuff – about $3 bucks

Spending time with Dad and building the desk he always wanted – Priceless!

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My Dad has wanted a desk that spanned the full width of his office for years. He’s always balked at the idea of spending $100 to $135 for a 10ft section of Kitchen counter. But I’m always on the hunt for deals. Yesterday I was at Home Depot on an unrelated pleasure trip, and I decided to check the counter tops. I noticed one that was a little beat up and asked the girl working the aisle about it. She frowned and said “That should have been thrown away.” I Said “Hell, If your throwing it away, I’ll take it.” She went off to find her manager. Long story short, I paid $15 for a counter that had a crack on both ends. I only needed 9ft so I cut 6 inches from each end and it was perfect!

Dad's New Desk

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