Local Goth Girls

March 24, 2012

The add says “Meet Local Goths”. It’s in the right hand “Sponsored” add column on my Facebook page. My first thought was “Huh…people still dress..er…live that way?”  I’m a Man. Red blooded, meat eatin’, hard workin’, and all that.  I’ll “meet” any and all of the female persuasion.

Goth Girl

I'd "Meet" her.

My second thought was “Why would the ad target me?” You see, for years I’ve been teased with ads featuring large breasted women, seductive looking barely legal girls, the possible Ménage à trois, hook ups with biker chicks, chicks who want bikers, hot young single moms, 30 somethings, 40 somethings, cougars, M.I.L.F.s, girls who want big guys, and recently, Christian girls. Lord help me.

I think Vampires are sexy and secretly, I think it would be cool to be one. But I don’t dress like one, wear fangs, drink blood (or even red wine), or sleep in a box. I realize the goth thing is different. But let’s be honest, from the outside looking in, it’s really similar. I don’t want you to think I’m judging, I’m not. What makes this country great is it’s diversity. You should know though, whenever I see (and I haven’t for a seriously long time) a little goth girl I always wonder “Aw baby, who hurt you?”

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I was thinking out loud in my head as I drove home tonight that life is fiction. It could be what ever you want it to be. But of course, that’s not exactly true. I mean, you may want to be a Shuttle astronaut, well that’s not gonna happen…unless you got in before they cancelled the program. You might aspire to be the Queen of England. Not. They’ve got one already. I guess my point is you can be almost anything you want (with in the bounds of physics).

 The future is unwritten. Go write yours.

Little Pirates

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Ew, Seriously? So Gross.

March 15, 2012

Make no mistake. I hate Geico. I hate the lizard. I hate the cavemen. I hate Maxwell, the ugly fat little pig. I realize i’m in the minority on that one. I’m so offended by the frequency and content of their commercials that I would never consider spending a dime with them. But, something strange happened recently. Someone at Geico made me laugh. Twice, now that I think about it. First it was the “Woodchucks” Chucking wood. Then it was the High School “Popular Girls” following the cheap wanna-be dieter. So reminded me of my nieces. I still wouldn’t buy insurance from them…unless…they made my commercial. The camera pans in…the gecko is trying to tell the cave man about Geico insurance. The caveman bites the head off the gecko, as he chews, a T-rex gobbles up the caveman…pull back to see Maxwell roasting over an open fire… on the ground in front of the fire we see a pinwheel and hear a faint, echoing “Weeeeeeee…” …and fade to black! I know…”dude, that is so totaly gross”.

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Lazy Future Zombie

February 23, 2012

I understand that some people have trouble parallel parking. I understand people who have large SUV/trucks having trouble getting into small spaces. But this lazy SOB drives a Honda! I assume it’s laziness, because no one is that stupid. My first thought was “What an arrogant thing to do” but I’m constantly reminded how lazy, stupid, and selfish most of the sheep are in this area. (Sigh) Days like this I long for the Zombie Apocalypse. Most of the sheep will be Zombies or Zombie food and everyone knows Zombies can’t drive.

To clarify, had I not pulled out before this dipshit, she most certainly would have dented up my car…just like a Zombie.

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Last Shuttle Flight

August 9, 2011

I was a kid when the Shuttle program started. I actually got to see one of them on the back of the special 747  they used to transport the Shuttles from where they landed back to where they launched. I was glued to my TV when the Challenger exploded, and I also watched the spectacular destruction of Columbia. Terrible tragedies.

Between April 12 1981 and July 8th 2011 there were 135 shuttle launches.

It’s very sad. The end of an era. I can now cross something off my bucket list…never did get to see a Shuttle launch (in person). Weird that the same week the Shuttle Atlantis was on its last mission I saw this in a client’s back yard. I had to take a picture of it.

I didn’t know it until today, but yesterday was a milestone. Yesterday I wrote my 100th post. Had I realized that I had reached 100 posts, I probably wouldn’t have written about sweatin’ like a pig. I might have written about my favorite post, or the most read post. I could have tried to wow you with a witty meaningful post or something. Oh well, past is past.

I just re-read all 100 posts. Here are a few I enjoyed reading again.

Colonel Angus

RIP Mack

Opinions are like…

And That’s Why I Don’t Eat Raisins

Blue Angels

My Dad’s Tree

Happy Ending?

Do Pigs Sweat?

August 7, 2011

I ask because I’ve always heard and used the phrase “Sweatin’ like a pig. I think I heard we had one of the hottest Julys on record. It’s been a miserably hot summer. So I’m wondering, do pigs sweat?

 

Picture from freeextras.com

Going Home

August 5, 2011

The worst part about going away is going home. Don’t get me wrong, I love being home. It’s just the thought of leaving the Bay, beach, mountains, or wherever my weekend takes me is depressing. I never want the good times to end. Can you relate?

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Colonel Angus

May 14, 2011

A friend of mine recently had a bad date. I was trying to make her feel better by suggesting she could always try the other team. She informed me she had and that the “V” was nothing to write home about. Well, I’ve been excited about the “V” since I was 12 and I have literally erected monuments to it’s greatness but this is not about me nor my monument.

I started thinking about what she said. “It was nothing to write home about.” I often wonder at the origin of sayings like that.  Rather than trying to find out the origin of this saying, I created what I think one of those “letters home” would look like.

Big fan of 69

April 26, 2011

69° outside. 84° inside. Now that the Sun has gone down and it’s cooler outside, You’d think it would get cooler inside. You’d be wrong. This old house has no airflow. I hate the heat. What happened to spring? Oh well, only 5 more months of summer heat.