I am not a Millionaire

March 31, 2012

I did not win the world record breaking $640 million Mega Millions jackpot. My odd’s were 1 in 176 million against it, but it’s always nice to dream. I would love to get the chance to test the idiom “Money can’t buy happiness”. I’m willing to bet I could buy a whole lot of happiness with that kind of money. First I’d buy some land. A ranch maybe. Then I’d put together a group dedicated to the rescue and care of animals. Of course I’d do the other things that everyone else says too. I’d buy my parents a house. I’d pay off my bills, and my family’s bills. I’d buy a truck. I’d  get a couple rescue dogs and cats. I’d go to all the bike rallies I haven’t yet been to. I’d start crossing off items on my bucket list, and start adding more. I’d give more, travel more, play more, sleep better, and live more. Would I be happier?

Damn right I would be.

I’ve heard you can’t win If you don’t play. Of course, even if you play, you can’t win unless you’re very, very lucky.

 Mega Nuthin'

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The Big Green Truck

January 18, 2011

Right from the start BG and I did not get along. She smoked. Now I don’t mind if a girl smokes, but I don’t want it blown in my face for 24 hrs. It was bad. I had to have the window down just to get some fresh air. She had a bum ticker. I thought she was gonna die on me!  I thought she was winking but it turns out she had an eye problem.  I tried sweet talking her using all of my considerable charm. I caressed her, I stroked her, I even slapped her around a little. Sadly, in the end, after many hours of messing around, I could not get her to put out! That was the final straw. I don’t think I’ll be taking her out again.

I’ve been fortunate to work for a plow company this winter. I’ve been out 3 times now and this last time I was asked to drive the big green truck. When I worked for UPS I drove the “Moose“, which was much longer, so I knew it would be no problem driving big green.

First, the truck refused to stay running . When it was running the noxious exhast fumes came right into the cab. The Mechanics  installed a new alternator. Then the plow lights went out, so I was driving with one headlight, and it was behind the plow! The mechanics fix it, but they went out again as soon as I left the depot. And I had problems with the spreader not putting out salt for a good portion of the adventure. I tried everything to get it to work. Then, I’d drive back to the depot  to have them look at it and like magic it would start throwing out salt. That was the most frustrating part. So I made the owners aware of the problems I had, and  I cross my fingers that I’m done with big green. She’s a bitch.

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I decided last minute to pack a bag and head to my brothers house. I live in the DC area and the storm of the century had begun. I really did not want to be stuck at home, alone for the weekend. I topped off the radiator and hit the road.  There was probably 6 or 7  inches of snow down already and it was snowing hard and heavy. There were the usual 4 X4’s like me, doing  just fine, until we encountered a few of you dumb asses: The guy in the white Chevy van? All over the road; The Cab driver who thought he could? didn’t. He was sliding through all the lanes; The guy in the brand new Wrangler Jeep doing 60?  I hope he made it; The person in the ditch? I called 911 for them. People, please, if you don’t have 4 wheel drive, or if you just got 4 wheel drive stay off the road until it is dry again. You can not drive. I know you think you can, but you can’t. Your a danger to yourself, and more importantly your a danger to those around you, including me.

Seriously stay home. You can’t drive.

10 Good Years

February 2, 2010

10 good years. Mostly. I bought my 1998 Ford Explorer in 2000 and it has been an excellent and dependable truck/suv for the better part of a decade. Unfortunately it has begun to hemorrhage antifreeze and my mechanic friend say’s it be cheaper to buy another used truck than repair this one. So…we are about to get the 2nd or 3rd snow of the new year and I can’t count on my truck. Snow is more fun in a 4×4.